EDITORS NOTE: Recently the new Warner Bros. movie "William Joyce's The Guardians Of Childhood" has been raising hype online ever since the release of the trailer. A reboot of the 2012 Rise Of The Guardians movie (produce by the late Dreamworks Animation Studio), the new adaptation of William Joyce's children book series is meant to stay more faithful to Joyce's original vision and erase the fiasco that was the Jelsa fad which derailed the first series into the degenerate Rise Of The Brave Tangled Frozen Dragon movies that destroyed the Disney and Dreamworks union. A big proof of that intent is that Jack Frost is not in the new reboot and Director Bruce W. Timm has said that they won't feature him at all in future movies in order to distance themselves from the first movies. Latino Insider has reported from inside sources at WB animation that Jack Frost will be a girl this time.



As a result we have been getting request to bring back articles that chronicle the rise of the Jelsa fandom and it's eventual downfall in the form of the movies they created. One memorable article was the review of the legendary disastrous ROTBTFD Christmas Special done by the internet's number one Jelsa hater, Movie Critic Cine Tinsel. Who witness first hand the worst Christmas Special ever seen since the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Originally release on December 31, 2018, here is Cine Tinsel's review of the infamous Rise Of The Brave Tangled Frozen Dragon's Holiday Special.

THE BRAVE TANGLED FROZEN DRAGONS HOLIDAY SPECIAL

 I hate Christmas. And you know what I hate more than Christmas? Christmas Specials, where the holiday is forced down our throats courtesy of shows and movies that have nothing to do with Christmas. Despite how much get's preach about the holiday they never even mention the supposedly real meaning of Christmas. They gather for the birth of Jesus but the birthday boy get's ignored in his own party. This time around old J got ignored in favor of another J. A J with a F for Frost but here should be F for F$#@^.
 
  You know what my biggest dread was about Jelsa becoming canon?? That as a fan of Frozen I will get Christmas shove down my throat.  I hate it that Jack Frost brought Christmas into Frozen. Already I can hear you said "Are you being anti-christmas just because it's cool? Are you a damn atheist? Are you a heartless Grinch?" , No I just hate it when people celebrate a Holiday that is based on ancient roman pagan orgy celebrations and now claim it as being the most christian thing to do and want to burn you for not giving in into peer pressure to join the masses yet forget old JC.

Take for example Jack Frost, a character that has recently been proven to have originated from pagan myths than Christian but of course these days kids celebrate Jack as the symbol of everything good and the face of a generation of animation, and Elsa's bitch (Or Elsa's slave master if you prefer). Of course I was alone in that belief as the majority of people were all fine that a religious neutral story like Frozen (as well as Tangled and Brave) was turn into a soulless marketing tool for Christmas much like Rise Of The Guardians was. But now I am no longer alone as the world got to see a Jelsa Christmas special. And it's almost like I gotta say "Thank You" to it because it prove me right before the whole online community. As they have called it the worst Christmas Special ever created!

     Honestly I am surprise that people didn't see this coming. The Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons Christmas Special may sound like a cash grab though up by Dreamworks at the last minute for the holidays and to milk the ROTBTFD's popularity further but actually this was bound to happen. As I mention, there is no denying that Jack Frost is a Christmas mascot as his origin and movie relies on the Christmas celebration and Jack is forever connected to the holiday unlike Queen Elsa who is a character that is more diverse and was never meant to be connected to Christmas. So it was only a matter of time that Jack brought his Christmas baggage and force it on the rest of the characters whether it make any sense or not. You like a holiday mascot then you will like the holiday whether you are a American Christian or not!! And it looks like the majority of viewers now hate Christmas after Jack rape it much like it rape Frozen and Disney.
 
                  Disney was well aware of the problem that this was going to be and was rightfully oppose to it, but after allowing the creation of two ROTBTFD movies and the Jelsa movie they pretty much allowed themselves to be overrun by the internet's high demand for more Jelsa stuff. Or at least that's what it looks like. To me and a lot of critics it seems that Disney actually plan this to happen to further damage Dreamworks's and the fandom's favorite pet.

Let's start the review already and hopefully the Holiday Blues might finally drive me to suicide by the end of this. God knows that reviewing that upcoming Jack Frost movie is a worse fate than eternal torture in hell which Bayonetta would had prefer than starring in this mess (Yes, you read that right)

                         Solid proof that Disney intentionally allowed Dreamworks to do it all by himself and sabotage themselves is that Disney is nowhere to be found in the credits. No logo or title (See the above poster). Right off the bat it starts off like a talent show reality show as the Dreamworks logo appears and it's gone in a flash as it addresses the various celebrities and music artist that will be on this crap.  It's a long list made even bigger when it also shows the characters our guest stars will be playing. This is really confusing as only our guest stars receive this Yet our main cast is still refer to as their characters as oppose to their roles they play.

    Right after our star filled introduction we are immediately shown our main setting, Jack's tree house located in Burgess that looks a bit similar to North's toy factory at least from the inside. Zooming in on the living room the front door opens and in come in our main stars .. the kid sidekicks of the Dragons, The Little Brave Dragons. "Who?" you are probably asking. Well if you haven't keep up with the ROTBTFD universe then you don't know who the Little Brave Dragons are. They are the three little brothers of Merida (Harris, Hubert and Hamish), The three little pig tail girls sisters from Tangled (Phoebe, Hope and Bridget), Camicazi from HTTYD and Jamie Bennett from ROTG. They are the junior version of the Dragons gang and BOY are they hated by the fandom. Apparently they are making way too many appearances in the promotion and the fans hate it as it takes away the spotlight from our "heroes". As someone who hates EVERYTHING about ROTBTFD I am actually not bother by them at all. At least they are acting like REAL KIDS should as oppose to our Big 6 who are behaving like pretentious adults and doing things that they shouldn't be doing at their age (namely Jack getting married to Elsa a woman 13 years older than him).

    So focusing our story on the "Little Brave Dragons" than our main heroes that was a bad sign as it was pissing off it's intended audience. Anyway the children arrive to find out that Jack and the others have not arrive yet to celebrate Christmas. The only ones present to receive them at Jack's house is Queen Elinor and Valka. The very ones that the sequel insinuated where Jack's past girlfriends. Either the producers of this remain oblivious to the controversy that the sequel cause or are trolling the audience. Considering that they created the Jelsa movie due to the stupid petitions they are obviously very aware of the online community so therefore they are indeed messing with us.

                 To answer our question of where our main heroes are we cut to a snowy beach located somewhere in the north were there's a big battle going on. That's what the description below the screen would had us believe except if you are a fan of HTTYD 2 you will immediately recognize that this is the battle from the middle of the movie. Yes it's stock footage! Dreamworks is using stock footage from HTTYD 2 than animating a new scene. Don't believe me? Well here's a image from a recording of it.



Yup, that's Drago's Bewilderbeast walking behind the battle. Nope they don't acknowledge it or even tell us how is a alpha dragon alive despite the events of HTTYD 2. We cut to Hiccup flying his new dragon Stormfly (Astrid's dragon as Toothless is officially Jack's dragon now thanks to the events of second ROTBTFD movie, fans are not happy about this decision) as Astrid is now a passenger hugging Hiccup's back and looking scared much like Elsa is doing the same with Jack. Pretty much both have been reduce to being the damsel in distress than the kickass girls they were in their original movies which is not surprising considering how their characters have been treated by the fans (ESPECIALLY Cosplayers)

Astrid: Hiccup do you think we'll make it back to Burgess in time? I'm scared.!!
Hiccup: Don't worry Astrid we'll make it back in time to celebrate Christmas! Everyone knows why this day is so special. Elsa and Jack know why this day is so special to them.

 So right in the middle of a intense battle and you are worried about making it back home for Christmas? I guess participating in major battles is now just another day for our heroes which I would had never figure out as our heroes still act like typical high school teenagers instead of feeling stressful or traumatize like ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO SEE BATTLE.

          Mavis flies above the two and tells them that Jack has a plan that will wrap-up the entire battle. Jack Frost is now a war strategist apparently... so William Joyce's vision of Jack being the spirit of childhood is now out the window.

 Anyway for some reason we transition to the Isle of Berk at what appears to be the local tavern. Inside we are shown Oaken who is running a store for the first time outside Arendelle. Heather from the HTTYD Tv series shows up as a employee of the store. It turns into some joke were all the Vikings are trying to order stuff that confuses Oaken. For example here a list of what apparently Hiccup and his Vikings eat in Berk.

1. Raw bones of sheep.
2. Swamp juice.
3. Sugary Goat droppings.
4. Stone hard bread and muffins.
5. Dried up goat skin.
6. Mud cakes (LITERAL Mud).

         So Hiccup and his clan eat garbage because they are Vikings? If that's true then how come we have good looking vikings like Astrid and Heather?? Was this originality a Shrek sketch before it was change to Vikings?? Is that why Shrek and Donkey show up just to get angry with Oaken? If you don't get the humor then don't worry about it, Dreamworks tosses in a fat animated version of Melissa McCarthy who is a viking who crushes on a clueless Oaken. It's a cute moment, Funny? Hell no. Honestly I think this scene needed Pewdiepie to save it.

            And just like that Pewdiepie appears!! He's playing a viking boy named Hotpie who is Hiccup's cousin. He orders a ton of weird stuff like his fellow vikings and starts to flirt with Heather who immediately turns him down. I guess this is suppose to be funny, "Hey people look! A nerd is getting rejected by a hot girl! Are you laughing yet?'

Cause I wasn't. Honestly I gave up with this exchange.

Hotpie: Do you have any BANANAS?
Heather: No we don't have any bananas! This is the fifth time you ask that already!!! And if you ask for bananas ONE MORE TIME I'LL TOSS YOU OUTSIDE!!!
Hotpie: Okay. Do you have any potatoes?
Heather: No.
Hotpie: Well then do you have any BANANAS?



We cut back to Jack's house as Valka assures the kids that they will be back and to pass the time she decides to tell them a story. The story is about Toothless since Valka is apparently a dragon whisperer (Which only her and Jack can do as of the sequel, screw Hiccup) and knows all of the dragon's secrets,
   
           We transition to the isle of Berk again during the fall. Hiccup is in the dragon stables and going to feed Toothless.

Hiccup: You know I am really proud that you are Jack's dragon now.

  Hiccup says this as he does is stable work.

Hiccup: You will be known as the Nightfury of the greatest dragon trainer that has ever lived.. and will do so for all time. I wish I could lived long enough to see you become a legend alongside Jack and Elsa.

        Got to really praise Hiccup there, he seems mighty fine that his close friend ditch him to follow Jack who will live forever and become a legend while he will die and be forgotten. Oh well, we are all dust in the wind sacrificing our measly identity for a greater cause. Hail Jelsa!!
 
                 Hiccup steps in dragon shit, slips and a pitchfork falls on him while Toothless rolls his eyes. Good to see that Dreamworks hasn't outgrow his frat boy comedy and ability to ruin heartwarming moments. As Hiccup goes off with pain the camera moves to Toothless and Stormfly and both start talking! With the voices of Zac Effron as Toothless and Eddie Murphy as Stormfly!

Stormfly: Oh by Odin's beard that boy needs to be a man! A true Rider Like Jack! Now that's a rider that you want on your back!
Toothless: C'mon he's not all bad. He did gave me the ability to fly again.
Stormfly: After he destroyed your ass! Had it been me I would had eaten that sad excuse for a viking alive when he found me!!! ALIVE BOY!!!
Toothless: He's already a loser enough as it is Stormfly.
   
    Yeah Hiccup is the group's loser, ... aren't you glad we have this crossover so we could know which one of the big 6 was the loser (Hiccup) and which one was the cool guy? (Jack obviously, no pun intended)
   
      If you didn't blew your brains at that moment then you probably did as soon as one of the terrible terrors showed up and was voiced by Pewdiepie. I don't mind Pewdiepie but it seems that Dreamworks just paid him to go crazy and act annoying.

            This entire segment is just the dragons cracking jokes and then they rescue a bunch of terrible terrors kidnapped by the sexy version of Madam Mim voiced by Carly Rae Jepsen. It's an entire short made for kids along the same feel as Pixar's Planes. From this tedious segment you would think that the entire special was going to be overtly kiddie friendly. Well as you will soon find out that's not the case.

                 After ending our story we are back to Jack's house as we have our special guest stars, Gobber The Belch, Po the panda and Olaf the snowman. The three are dressed as Santa Claus as they have brought gifts for everyone. As soon as they get told that our heroes haven't arrived Gobber decides to send a video transmission to Jack himself. They gather before a computer screen (again the movies have never made it clear what kind of world this is) and we finally have the first appearance of Jack in this special. This time Frostface is voiced by Justin Timberlake after fans petitioned for someone to sound sexy and hot, obviously missing the entire point of Jack's character. At this point Jack has gone into the 90's Batman phase and will no doubt hear him be voiced by different voice actor in every movie, and not one of them making him sound like a actual teenager. So why grow attach to Jack if he's no longer has a real voice of his own?

Valka: My dearest Jack, Hiccup and his friends haven't arrived.
Jack: What?! Elsa and the rest are not there yet? Well that can't be good.

             My god I didn't thought it was possible but Jack continues to be the world's greatest Bad Animated Actor. He has a empty fake smile that a Stepford Wife would be jealous of.



Jack: Well wowzers we got to do something! I will get to them right away .. Don't you worry Val and Eli. It will be alright. Come on gals, we don't want long faces on Christmas. Show me a smile for me.

(Elinor and Valka smile for Jack)

Jack: There now don't you feel much better ladies? Jack will save the day, it is Christmas after all. Don't worry your little pretty heads about it. Your two are too young to have wrinkles.
 
    Smooth talk Jack, Guess girls do like to be talk down to...

It took me a while to realize something, Jack's not in the freaking battle with his friends! Was this badly edited? Last time we saw his friends they where waiting to see his great plan that would end the battle, what the hell happened? Is Jack suddenly too important to be in battles?!

 Anyway moving forward, Gobber gives the kids all their presents and is then when we are all introduce to our next segment via Merida's brothers turning on a Gameboy. It's a short cartoon version of our heroes call "Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons GO!". The premise, our heroes Jack, Elsa, Hiccup, Merida, Rapunzel, Anna, Astrid and Mavis all live in a castle where their hang out and basically just do shenanigans all day despite the intro song telling us they saved the world from the forces of Pitch and Gothel. In other worlds it's the same thing that happens in the movies and the fan fictions that inspired it.

                          They all have the same personalities that were given to them by the fandom only more over the top. Jack the team leader is the cool laidback guy, Elsa is the sentimental girl who can't live a single second without his frostface boyfriend around her, Hiccup is the loser funny guy who's a complete idiot, Merida is a unattractive tomboy who eats and smells like an animal, Rapunzel is the preppy hyper active hippie chick, Anna is about the same minus the hippie thing, Astrid is always grouchy and Mavis is the mother of the group who has a  eating disorder. Nope of them are funny. They are all jerks to each other and annoying.

              This kiddie segment would had been forgettable if it wasn't for the ending. Through out the story the team is harassing Pitch to see what evil plans he has in stored for them only to discover that is not Pitch who's been sending monsters after them, it's the entire Nicktoons Squad!! The Nicktoons want to destroy the ROTBTFD gang because they are more popular than Nicklelodeon and stealing their fans. Everyone from Ren & Stimpy, to Rugrats, Catdog, Danny Phantom, Fairy oddparents, Rocko, Aang to the famous Sponge in squarepants himself are here to destroy the ROTBTFD.



Sponge: You stupid kids are making people forget about us!!
Ren: WE WILL HAVE OUR REVENGE MAN!!!
Danny Phantom: We will kill you!! Only them will we finally have a movie made.
Jack Frost: Oh look gang, is the entire Viacom loser squad. I'm surprise you OLD cartoons manage to crawl out from the bargain bins.

   One wonders if Dreamworks has the balls to do this due to how much money the movies had made for them and the entire internet loving them right now. Considering the Nicktoons look exactly like their original versions (except for their voices) it does seem like Dreamworks wants to go to war with Nicklelodeon. And this segment is the shot heard around the franchise world as our heroes proceed to beat up the entire Nicktoons squad. Merida kills the Rugrats with arrows, Hiccup's dragon burns both Ren & Stimpy alive, Rapunzel strangles Ginger Foutley with her hair, Elsa freezes Danny Phantom and Jack Frost beats up Spongebob, Timmy Turner, Invader Zim, Aang and Hey Arnold while smiling and winking at the camera. It's Dreamworks giving the middle finger to Nicklelodeon in one of Tv's biggest douchebag move ever in Tv history. Pretty much all the Nicktoons are Stormtroopers getting their asses handed to them. NOBODY from team ROTBTFD get's his/her ass kicked!

         I never liked Nicktoons (I was a Foxkids girl) but in behalf of all fans of Nicktoons .. FUCK YOU!!! Really this is just a asshole thing for Dreamworks to do to Nicktoons considering Nicklelodeon is currently struggling to get a movie made.

EDITORS NOTE: The actual script was much worse. Originality the entire Nicktoons were to get their asses kick by Jack Frost alone as the original story was for the nicktoons to kidnap everyone except Jack who would later save his entire team. It was change in order to make everyone look useful but Jack still beats up most of the Nicktoons.



  Cutting back to our story the group is suddenly invaded by Pitch's dark army. No we don't get any special effect scene of flying nightmares or even stock footage, a couple of extra same looking models dark soldiers storm the front door and surround our heroes. Since Po and Gobber are in this you are probably expecting a kickass fight scene where both take the small squad down. However if you have seen all the films in this crossover you know they will not do anything that makes them more awesome than Jack Frost. So Po and Gobber surrender without a fight and Po for some reason turns into a stammering cowardly lion as soon as the leader of the squad shows up.





Lord Dragnus, Wraith and their henchmen the Chameleon from the cult Disney afternoon cartoon "The Mighty ducks" are the leaders of the squad that are part of Hansel's army. Give yourself a high five if you actually remember "The Mighty Ducks"! Then feel ashamed of yourself for remembering that show (along with Shnookums and Meat). Anyway it's not all bad as what make Mighty Ducks bearable is here. Tim Curry, Frank Welker and somebody who does a perfect imitation of the late Tony Jay are here to give some decent voice acting for once. They come off as the usual cartoon villains but at this point any acting no matter how over the top and clique it is it's a relief than watching Jack's atrocious bad acting again. Meanwhile Gobber and Po go the opposite way. Gobber starts to sound like a angry Scotsman spouting gibberish while Po starts to sound like a bad imitation of Curly from the 3 stooges.

Po: But I don't wanna Belch!!
Gobber: Come on use your noodle skills, well make a fine dine for our guest *smiles toward Dragnus and the rest*
Po: Oohh!!  Dine for me! *puts on a apron*
Gobber: Not for you fatso! NOWGETBACKINTHEKITCHEN!!!!!
Po: WWAAHHH!!!*runs screaming back into the kitchen*

Is Jack Black suddenly trying to do some stand up comedy with Po?? Was Chris Edgerly too drunk while recording?? is this suppose to be funny? Cause I don't see what's so funny about Po suddenly acting like Curly. Were both doing improve? Cause let me tell you improv humor is never funny ESPECIALLY in a kid's movie. I saw Night At The Museum 2 and 3 and it never worked on any of those.

    Anyway we cut to Po trying to cook noodles but instead get some embarrassing skit were Po get's in a fight with noodles.

No I'm not joking.

It is LITERALLY what I just said. Po is so goddamned clumsy and stupid in this that he as trouble trying to get noodles into a boiling pot. "Hijinks" ensue as Po struggles to the point that he is fighting the noodles and get's his ass kicked by then.




We thankfully get over that scene quick and move on to our next segment. Via the tv set in the kitchen we are shown a party that is going on in North's workshop. A LIVE ACTION Workshop! Interesting choice for a mostly CGI animated special.. All the Elves and Yetis are present here portray by some rather cheap looking costumes. The elves I have no idea if they are costumes being wore by kids or by remote control cars. The Yetis look as convincing as a supermarket mascot. However we have people in viking costumes and other types walking around to keep us distracted. However whatever is bothering us from the scenery is immediately forgotten when PewDiepie walks in dressed as Elsa!



Yes, reprising is joke as Elsa PewDiePie walks in all serious and the bar goes silence. Much like us the audience. Then from the crowd Bunnymund shows up and confronts PewDiePie, and we have no goddamn idea what is happening before us. How do I even BEGIN to describe what I'm seeing??



You know all those scary Easter Bunny costumes that you see in the internet? Well thankfully Bunnymund is nowhere near that. No instead he's just odd looking. It's like a life-size Bunny stuffed toy that has been turn into a Jim Henson animatronic.. from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.

 PewDiePie and Bunnymund argue. Bunnymund accuses PewDiePie that he's not worthy to dress as Elsa.

Bunnymund: What I'm saying kid is that you can't Let. It. Go!!
PewDiePie: Oh so you don't think I can Let. It. Go?
Bunnymund: No you can't GO!

But I am still trying to figure what the hell am I watching. A adult man dressed as a princess and a bad animatronic puppet argue in a party with a bunch of weirdos. And it was about to get completely batshit crazy.

   PewDiePie proceeds to dance on the dance floor to Basic Element's song "To You". Boy is PewDiePie one amazing dancer. Yet this isn't enough to stop me from wondering if somebody drug my drink before watching this and this is all a bad acid trip. A really BAD acid trip. The entire crowd cheers for PewDiePie.

Bunnymund: I was wrong kid, You CAN Let It Go.

      Says Bunnymund and he shakes Pew's hand in salute. But then Jack Frost shows up! Jack Frost being played by JUSTIN BIEBER. It's Jack Frost Bieber (or as a friend of mine called him.. The Vanilla Ice Of Dreamworks.) Next to him is Hiccup, played by Nick Jonas. He doesn't talks.



Jack Frost (Justin Bieber): If Elsa was here she would be so proud of you. I will tell her about you later tonight, when I'm ROCKING THAT BODY!!! *Jack/Bieber thrust his crotch*

 
  Both Jack Frost (Justin Bieber) and PewDiePie Elsa give each other the high five and both start to choreography dance, when the screen suddenly goes static and we cut to commercials.



Announcer: The Rise Of The Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons Holiday special is brought to you by the new Playstation video game, Ratchet & Clank: Screw Her Up Her Arsenal and the new movie, Ratchet & Clank: Suck My Clank!


The following text messages between me and my friend sum this whole thing up perfectly.

CineTinsel: So the sketch ended just there?

Neon Cowboy: Yeah it did.

CineTinsel: Did they cut it or it just ended THERE?

Neon Cowboy: They cut it! From what I heard from one my friends who worked as a background dancer, they didn't even show the karaoke singing between Pews and Justin Bieber!! Guess that they felt embarrassed for it and cut it short.

CineTinsel: So Dreamworks though this was embarrassing.. yet they where okay with the lame bar scene in Berk, the bad ROTBTFD cartoon and the Dragon story?!

Neon Cowboy: What can we say? It's Dreamworks, they gave the okay to that Will Smith fish movie. BTW did you get the parody/reference to Michael Jackson's "Bad" music video at the beginning?

CineTinsel: Wait?! Is that what THAT was suppose to be??!! That "You can't let it go" argument was suppose to be "You aren't bad"?

Neon Cowboy: Yup. From what I can get you didn't get the joke.

CineTinsel: Was I suppose too? You are as a big MJ fan what did you thought about it?

Neon Cowboy: I was insulted. That was painful to watch.



After the commercial break we focus our attention to a new Playstation portable that is being held by one of the pigtail girls. Apart from being shameless product placement for the new hand held game available this holiday season it also serves as our segway to a anime short. The Guardian Vs. The Witch.

      As you can tell by the title it involves our designated hero Jack Frost fighting a witch. Not something that would look out of the ordinary in this series.. except our Witch is none other than Bayonetta.




The story is simple, Jack is searching for the keyblade of Corona when he crosses paths with Bayonetta who mistakes him for an angel due to his looks (groan and roll your eyes at this atrocious pandering of Jack's physical appearance) and the two fight.

As you can guess this was the one special that caught EVERYONE'S attention MONTHS before it even premiered. And for a very special reason since the famous sexy witch was now going mainstream. From video games to making her debut appearance in both a Disney and Dreamworks special. The hype was indeed worth it as the animation is gorgeous to look at especially the fight between Jack and Bayonetta. ALMOST.




           While it has been praise as the best thing in this entire crappy holiday special it's still not without it's problems.  "Well it's bayonetta obviously since she's a sexual goddess in a kid show, Right?" you might think.



 Your be wrong, Especially on this being a Kid's show special as you'll soon see. No what is wrong in this segment is once again Jack Frost.

     Before both Bayonetta and Jack fight we have a scene were Jack finds Bayonetta in her nun outfit and both talk before she surprises him and announces her deal with him. Right from the very beginning Jack is checking out Bayonetta's hot body and soon starts to engage in playful flirt with her as she responds positively to his pickup lines. It all fits well with Jack's character of being a bad boy and the ideal sexual man in the eyes of the fangirls (and the perfect middle finger to William Joyce) Except that he's ENGAGE TO ELSA!!!

   No only engage to Elsa but she's also pregnant with his child. YET Frostface is busy trying to get into Bayonetta's panties despise being fully aware that Elsa is his official girlfriend! Our Hero everybody!! So not only does Jack get Elsa thanks to his looks and doing nothing else but he also get's to chase after Bayonetta and heavily imply that's he okay with adultery?? Is this the hero we want for our kids?? Is this what Dreamworks thinks should be a role model?

         You can see why most fans that love this segment would tell you that you are better off shutting your brain off in order to enjoy this special. If you try to take it seriously chances are you will find more reasons to lose any love for this ROTBTFD universe.

             So this segment comes to a close and for the first time in this series Jack doesn't win! Instead he's saved by his team and flee off in their ship leaving Bayonetta declaring that their game is not over. Another thing I will give this animated short is that finally recognizes that Hiccup, Merida, Rapunzel and the rest aren't completely useless.

Jack: So what tip you off about her not being a ordinary friendly nun?
Hiccup: Well there was something hairy about the situation!

Everybody laughs, End story.
           
 

        Then we cut to what is really a surprising scene... Queen Elsa!!!  I mean it is really surprising considering that it's almost been an hour & 30 minutes and Jack and Elsa haven't had a scene together so that Dreamworks can shove Jelsa down our throats. But calm down Jelsa fans because we have an entire segment dedicated to the "love" between Jack and Elsa that drove you "fans" to force DW to make these crappy movies.
     
            Elsa is in her ice palace and is pretty much moping about Jack not being around her. That's Elsa's personality when Jack is not around, she's more emo than a gothic teenager. You think that if Elsa got engage with the underage boy that she loves she would always happy. But no, instead she's sad. So what good is this ship suppose to be if the characters look WORSE than they were before they met?

            Anyway Elsa looks and holds in her hand a snowglobe which features a ice sculpture of her and Jack together. NAKED. Then the snow falls and we transition to a giant live action stage where Elsa is sleeping in her bed. As a obvious stage prop of the moon rises we see Jack Frost (or a very muscular young man to be exact) land in thanks to stage wires and Elsa wakes up and walks towards him.

TheGlowCritic: I have seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

At the time I just brush it off as a cheap joke but as I witnessed what unfolded before me that joke couldn't be more appropriate. But a hentai would had made more sense.

  So Elsa and Jack meet in the middle of the night (or what this stage setting is suppose to be anyway) and dance. Well more like ballet... if ballet was about trying to arouse your dancing partner.


Starting off Jack caresses Elsa's entire body and even licks her neck a bit before lowering himself down to Elsa's crotch and puts his arms all over her legs, then tears off her dress and suddenly Elsa goes from wearing her iconic dress to a one piece swimsuit.



    Don't worry fangirls! Elsa caresses Jack's body before ripping off his sweater and exposing Jack's sweaty chest and biceps to the audience for fan service. The two then dance an epic sensual ballet dance set to a instrumental techno mix of Let It Go (Surprise??..) More foreplay touching of each other's bodies happens before the entire sequence comes to an end as Jack lays Elsa on her bed and the lights go out. No need to figure what that is suppose to imply but if you ask me I'll say that they just gave the biggest middle finger to William Joyce and his daughter is rolling in her grave.

  The scene changes back to Elsa as she suddenly looks up at the sky and smiles as a snowflake falls next to her. Jack is back and Elsa can now be allow to smile. Female empowerment folks!!

TheGlowCritic: WHAT THE %$# WAS THAT!!??

LastLight: Mommy I have a funny feeling in my pants!

 The commercials weren't enough to give me time to take a shower. Is like the producers of this said,

DW Producer: You know what says Christmas? The Nutcracker!!
DW Writer: Fantastic!! Let's write a segment where the teams reenacts the Nutcracker!
DW Producer: Even better! Will made it a dance number for the fangirls by having Jack and Elsa dance together!
DW Writer: Perfect!!
DW Producer: Make it like the Argentina version of Dancing With The Stars!!
DW Writer: You mean strip and act vulgar on stage like the porn stars??
DW Producer: Yes!! But make it more tame! Not R but PG-13.
DW Writer: Okay, but WHY??
DW Producer: SHUT UP AND OBEY JELSA YOUR PATHETHIC MORTAL!!!

             Did Dreamworks miss doing the sex scene from the Frozen Guardian movie? Did they wanted another scene that would cause controversy? Granted this segment has the excuse that Ballet is an art form and therefore be forgiven as being educational to your kids (about sexual foreplay I assume) but really on a Christmas special?? And I thought that weird Wookie dream from the Star Wars The Holiday Special was the most inappropriate moment in Tv Holiday history.


 So after THAT we go back to our main characters still trapped in the house taken hostage by Lord Dragnus and his men. After getting impatient with the food (Since Po as been knocked unconscious by the food) Lord Drag demands service. Gobber immediately offers Dragnus a magical cauldron which after putting some spices on it magically creates a holographic image .. and we have a big musical number! It's the song "Where No One Goes" by Jonsi from HTTYD 2.

 

         It's a song that's awesome except for the part where it starts to suck at the 0:54 mark and after inserting the lame sounding main theme of HTTYD 2 it goes back to being good.

The segment here shows up the main singer as he sings into a ice penis looking blue glowing microphone while walking around a neon looking version of Berk with a gigantic statue of Jack Frost in the main center as the entire viking village is dancing around it and worshipping it. You can joke that this is visual innuendo for this special sucking Jack's dick except the ROTBTFD movies have been that overall and the joke is not funny with that being reality. Plus didn't we just had a dance sequence where Elsa ended up doing just that??

                         Anyway the song ends as Dragnus is shown pleased. Apparently he likes ambient music, who knew?

           Finally the entire team of the Dragons comes together and they arrive outside the treehouse to see the situation. Immediately they get a plan and Jack guides them through the rescue.
                     
         You can pretty much guess how the entire thing goes down as Jack is the main one to do the ass kicking while Merida, Mavis, Astrid and the rest occasionally land a punch on one of Dragnus's minions. Rapunzel, Anna and especially Elsa just stay behind looking afraid as usual.
   
                      While boring the final fight does have a few surprises. The rescue starts when Po decides to use his Wuxi Finger Hold to finally defeat the noodles. He ends blowing up the entire kitchen causing a distraction for Dragnus's men. First off the Chameleon dies off fairly easily as he's knocked out a window by Merida's brothers (he trips over them) and Wraith tries to challenge Astrid to a sword duel. She sidesteps and he falls over. Finally Jack faces off against Lord Dragnus. The two stared at each other,.. then Dragnus moves to attack Jack and he trips over Jack's staff and falls down screaming to the bottom of the cliff the treehouse was apparently located in.

 Wow,.. So 26 episodes in all and all the Mighty Ducks had to do to defeat Lord Dragnus was to make him trip on a piece of cheap wood?? Geez, with everyone being so incompetent in both the Dreamworks and Disney universe no wonder Jack is our main hero. Anyone else slightly better than him would be considered God.
 
             So now the heroes are all united here.
Jack Frost
Elsa
Hiccup
Merida
Astrid
Rapunzel  
Astrid
Anna & Mavis.   
      With all their families which include Queen Elinor, Valka, Merida's brothers Harris, Hubert and Hamish, Three little pigtail girls from Tangled (Phoebe, Hope and Bridget), Camicazi and Jamie Bennett and Gobber. Po is presumed MIA I assume. Or Death, would you be surprise??
 
And the entire group decides via one of Jack's teleportations given to him by the guardians to unite in Elsa's ice palace.
   
                                  There Elsa gathers before a multitude made of not just background characters but every character that's part of their united franchises. I spotted Ruffnut, Kristoff, Eugene, Heather from the HTTYD series, Rapunzel's parents, Pitch's daughter, that guard everyone hates from Tangled and Tooth.
   
      So everyone is reunited to hear the typical speech that is made about Christmas. How is a time to share with love ones and family. If the special has any balls they might actually acknowledge Jesus Christ who Christmas owes it's existence to. What does the ROTBTFD Christmas Special do??



......................
*&^%#$$%!!!!
%&$#@!!!!!!!!!!
&%$$*(^$$&^*#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Your &*## joking, Right?

  Your #&%#@ with me are you Dreamworks?? I mean forcing Disney to make Elsa end up as Jack's girlfriend was one thing and so was making her get engage to Jack. But THIS?!?!! Making- Redefining a whole Holiday into not only the birthday of your main mascot but also making it the day you united the two.. that ... That... You seriously don't give a flying f#%#@ do you??


    "Screw Jesus Christ, This is now the Holiday were we celebrate Jack's birthday and the day the two will be married!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!" - The Jelsa fans

 Screw you Dreamworks. You couldn't let us have Frozen and now you can't let us have the biggest holiday of the year? You want the whole damn world to celebrate Jelsa.



Well F&#@ that!!

           Elsa (Still voiced by a very tired Idina Menzel) sings the closing song and dear God was it the most painful moment in my life. I angrily changed the channel on Elsa's singing. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for it. As I learned later it was the best decision I have ever made out of anger. Since I didn't watch the closing scene here's my fellow critic Neon Cowboy's review of it..

Neon Cowboy: Never has a talented voice actress and singer made his greatest and most memorable character one of his WORST performances EVER. PERIOD! Her voice for Elsa in this sounds deadpan and monotone. As if Idina was recorded falling asleep after having so many drinks.

  Even Elsa looks like an early Dreamworks animated puppet (Surprise, Surprise..) as she finally looks as lifeless and creepy as her icy boyfriend. The singing U.S.A Presidents from Disney's Epcot center look human in comparison to this. I think it's time for all of us true and original fans of Frozen to just let Elsa Go. SHE'S DEAD. Dreamworks and William Joyce killed Elsa with Jack and this is her corpse being paraded for the mindless teenage fans.
     
   R.I.P Elsa from Frozen, you where too beautiful for this ignorant generation obsess with shipping and celebrity couple worship.

 
       Closing statements... Have any of you heard of Holiday Suicide? This movie series seems to prove that people do want to kill themselves around the holidays, because I seriously want to end it all. Really each year it's becoming a hell of torment as more entries in this franchise keep on coming. Neon Cowboy's description of Elsa's singing in this special really breaks my heart.
   
      Ever since Frozen came to exist and was heavily promoted around the Holidays I no longer felt sad around the Holidays. With Elsa and Anna being shown on my Tv screen I no longer felt alone or be reminded of my dead friends and family. Now they are gone.. replace by soulless CGI puppets force to dance around for a ship fanbase that never cared about them in the first place. Hard to believe that William Joyce had a hand in this fandom propaganda. The man responsible for creating dreams also knows how to destroy them for good, Thanks Joyce!

       Overall you are better off putting your head in the fireplace than watching this. From what I have heard from other critics you are much safer that way.

Neon Cowboy: Watching this special is as funny as watching you drunk Uncle around the Holidays. It's funny at first but then it get's depressing and sad.

Angry Gumball: I started watching this special as a Christian, I am now a Atheist.

LastLight: Skip everything but the Jack Vs. Bayonetta short, then watch the Jack and Elsa dance. Alone. In Slow-Motion. Unless you have the internet then just search Elsa Rule 34.

Coral & Lime: And this is WHY Disney hasn't done a Christmas special since Beauty And The Beast The Enchanted Christmas!

Rocket Baboon: A great family viewing experience! You'll feel just as awkward and embarrass as you did watching Frozen Guardian.

Eric Bartstein Of The Border Times: The real problem with the "Rise Of The Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons Christmas Special" lies in it's tone. It seems that it can't made up it's mind whether it's trying to appeal to kids of which is the audience they SHOULD appeal to or tries to be artsy and adult with it's trademark Dreamworks humor in a desperate attempt to keep their growing teenage audience still interested in their teenage driven franchise.

Eriko Densetsu: A corporate product made to get as much Holiday spending money as it can. Buy  all the shitty kiddie movies that feature these uninspired characters, Eat the noodle soup that Po got in a fight with, Get the all new PsP X12 portable the triplets girls used, Buy the new Victoria Secret underwear as wore by Elsa and don't forget the new line of Jelsa theme condoms and the Rise Of The Guardians Official movie licensed Vibrator. What other message does the Jelsa Holiday special gives us? The true meaning of Christmas? Get outta here!

Jay Blair of the Austin Chronicle: It's really devastating to see such great characters being reduce to lifeless stereotypes. Elsa and Anna both started out as revolutionary leads in their movies. Now they are nothing but audience self inserts to be swallow by the current naive generation of girls. They could have been something more than just trophy girls for the bland heroes. It's like watching your daughter be a honor roll student in school... only for her to end up as a stripper.

Quentin Bert: Probably the most shameless attempt at trying to be a Holiday special than the Krampus Christmas Eve Hour.

Walt Disney's Ghost: WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN TO MY SNOW QUEEN MOVIE??!! WHO THE HELL IS JACK CROSS??!!

Powers Tomorrow: A. MUST. WATCH! Rarely do I ever say that about a bad feature but the Rise of The Brave tangled Frozen Dragons Holiday Special is so bad it's almost a miracle of life. It must be seen to be, as Jack would say, believe! If there's one bad thing you must see in your entire life is this! Next to natural disasters and tragedies this is right among them. It will make you question humanity as a whole and cry at the realization that this is what so many young boys and girls wanted. Suddenly, your eventual death doesn't seem all that bad.

Comic Book Dude: WORST HOLIDAY SPECIAL EVER!!

SourSweet: *after turning off the tv* There is no Santa Clause is there?

TV Rating: Skip it!